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Cyrus
Member
736 Posts |
 Posted - 2009/02/13 : 16:50:15
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Tur att man inte fyllt femtio än 
Dear Employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,
Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years
of age and above on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be considered for
the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
programme (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as
Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants
& Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED
any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT(Special
High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself
on the amount of SHIT it gives employees.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this
to the attention of your Supervisor, who has been trained to give you all
the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
Management
PS
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil,as
well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has
been turned off.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
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huzze
RödaTråden-vinnare, 200.000 klubben
10180 Posts |
Posted - 2009/02/13 : 16:54:40
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And finally they end up at the Swedish AF (After-Fuck).
Sorry, kunde inte låta bli. |
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